Monday 9 July 2012

What Nollywood Movies Have Taught Me!!

1. An actress can wear the same hair-do for more than a year, even in longer flashbacks.
2. In every romance movie, someone must die….
3. It is possible to hit a person without actually touching them!
4. Anyone who gets hit by a car dies immediately.
5. Poisoned food always tastes better.

6. The best way to make money is by visiting a herbalist, joining a cult, sleeping with rich men.
7. One of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil.
8. There is never an end to your suffering, except death!
9. With a pastor… all things are possible.
10.Gun shots and knock out sound the same..
11. A movie has not been made if at least one actor or actress has not twisted his or her lips to speak wrong phonetics.
12. You are in love…you want to take your girl out, the best place you take her to is…
*Mr.Biggs: where you will most probably see an ‘ex’ while feeding each other.
*The beach: where it is imperative that you ride a donkey or a horse and carry her playfully.
*The flower garden: Take her to a nearby bush and pursue her all around.
*Or the best: take her to buy some new ugly clothes.
13. The police are extremely efficient unlike their counterparts in real life…
14. Every problem you have is spiritual
15.Wen you are shot in the chest, it doesn’t really matter, your head will be bandaged, same for your legs.
16.When advertising a movie, you have to shout because people are deaf.
17. If a car crash has to happen, the driver has to drive in a zig-zag motion on a free highway without an oncoming vehicle and then slam into a tree that wasn’t there before…

18. Sometimes the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie, and other times when you see the title and the poster, you know it ALL.
19. At the end of a 3 hours movie, you will be reminded that THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING. WATCH OUT FOR PART 2…
And finally….
20. All Nigerian films are marketed at Ebinpejo Lane Idumota or Iweka road Onitsha.

Watch out for part 2. What I have learnt separately from WAZOBIA movies.

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